A Catholic Priest, an Orthodox Rabbi and a Muslim Cleric all sit next to one another at a diner. The Rabbi turns to the other two and says,

“Hey, did you hear the one about us?”

Three scientists of different disciplines encounter a perfectly normal situation. The first two say something appropriate to their respective fields. The third one says something entirely useless and unexpected for the situation yet humerous and bizarrely appropriate for his occupation.

The lifeless corpses of a gas meter reader, a Grateful Deadhead, a stripper with huge breast implants, a talking pig, Siamese twins, Al Franken’s high school gym teacher, a gynecologist, a bebop saxophone player, and a fat, bald white man with glasses are delivered to a funeral parlor.

“Hey,” exclaimed the undertaker, “I thought this was supposed to be a joke?”

A Russian Spy, a bookie, a Scotsman and his sheep, a transgendered person of color, Karl Rove, the Florida Marlins’ batboy, a retired postal worker, and a dead baby approach a house and ring the front bell. A knockout blonde answers the door in a see-through negligee.

“Sorry to bother you, ma’am,” they say, “but we were told to meet here for a joke. Are we late?”

A newlywed couple, a blind man, an Iranian mullah, a chicken, a used car dealer, Judith Regan, a proctologist, and a Hollywood starlet, along with a nun, a man who just received a gorilla brain transplant, two Hassidic Jews, a stuttering hotel clerk, and a can of Spam are riding in a compact car. Suddenly, they hear a siren and a state trooper motions the vehicle to pull over.

“License and registration,” says the cop. “You’ve exceeded the legal character limit in this joke.”

An Irishman, a traveling salesman, Al Gore carrying a midget, the Pope, a 3-legged dog, an Islamic terrorist, a hooker, and a light bulb all arrive at the Pearly Gates simultaneously.

St. Peter looks up surprised, and says, “Hey — you’re in the WRONG JOKE!”